This girl is threatening to take her own life, be a fellow friend and let her know all the things she has to live for! She’s only 16 years old, and has her whole life ahead of her, remind her of that!
you say i hurt you. well you have no idea what kind of pain i am in right now. i always told you i wouldn’t be the one breaking up with you, knew i was right. i wanted to give you space and time to think about all the stuff we have been through together, so you could forgive me. i wanted time apart so we could eventually regroup and rekindle what we once had, but instead of mending this you broke my heart. i have never felt so shitty in my entire life… when i left your house this morning after telling you we needed a break, i spent a good half hour in my car right around the corner crying my eyes out. i never wanted to hurt you, but i did. i love you more than i have ever loved anyone or anything in my entire life… but i guess that just wasn’t worth the short break we would have had. remember when you came back from Hawaii? and everything was exactly how it was when our relationship had just started? well, yeah, it turned back to the way it was… but maybe an actual break, no phone calls texts or seeing eachother, would actually help even more, but no. you couldn’t do that… i bet you’re making plans right now to go dance away all memory of me with some guy at klub ice with isabella, or some other situation similar to that… well don’t worry kid, i won’t be here anymore to stop you…
i will always love you, even though you obviously don’t feel the same… if you did you wouldn’t have minded a break, you would do anything to fix what we have…
goodbye Sarah Anne Bonnie Howard… i really hope you see this, and realize that all the memories and times we have a worth more than just two garbage bags left on my porch. but honestly, i’m just gonna pack my entire room up into more bags and donate them. i won’t need them anymore anyway. don’t worry, you’ll get your stuff. fuck, why don’t you just come here and pick out what you want? you can have everything, my computer, my ipod, my tv, my clothes, you can even take the broken pieces of my heart too. everything else is worthless to me now. i’m no longer needed here anymore anyway so why try?? it’s pointless. me even trying to explain my reasoning for wanting the break is pointless… my heart, my mind, my sould, will always belong to you and you alone. i don’t even need to kill myself now, i feel dead anyway.
with much regret and sorrow,
Lacey Elspeth Collins
July 24th, 2012
The day I lost everything.